Lauren Hunter
from The Talents

&&

on tuesday i wake up early and draw the four of coins. i'm uncertain and unconvinced—i couldn't be enough. grasp at someone else's thoughts or art to express my deepest; want to show up but not as myself, you know. having a handful, taking a few. i'm not alone, i'm not lonely but still i fear it.

 

&&

on monday i pull the wheel of fortune and well, sit down. even reversed i feel so capable: surely a mighty current will pull me all the days of my life and my path will be marked with assured neon arrows. what gives is will, will over let. stepping with a blindfold over any abyss or pit. the prize being mario’s longest legs and a code to skillfully land any leap.

&&

on thursday i pull the sun and wake up to a new day. on most thursdays i quit but here’s a chance to change the scene. i’ll start in the mirror as usual but also let you in on the deep secret of my truest nature: i’m not as steady as i seem. with abundant joy i will collapse helplessly as i approach the doors, my feet refusing as strongly as my heart can’t hold. but take my hands, if they are shaking. listen clearly, because i can’t repeat this escape but it’s important that you know: i’ve seen you too. we can go whenever you like.

&&

on wednesday i draw the moon and look for both sides of the story. the person i've become is terrified of the next steps, of drawing the curtain back to see my old self still sweating alongside her. while i appreciate the potential for an honest position, i'd prefer some generosity. some turning of my own other cheek against the answers i sincerely don't want to know. i prefer thick clouds between my two faces, thanks very much.

 

 

 

&&

on monday i draw death and am stopped in my tracks. what gives a welcome pause in the drudge of the week: the thrill of transformation or the fear of, well, walking through the door marked “doomed.” the whisper down my neck is not what you expect (the ice-cold scythe tightening my edges), but instead the devil insisting this is the way and trust me, you’ll like the next bite. and i am so terribly hungry.