Manjiri Indurkar
Fish Depression Is Not Funny

If you put your fish in a bowl, 

your fish will soon develop depression. 

So buy a big aquarium, if you must buy fishes.  

A friend recently lost three out of the four  

fishes she had bought. They died within a week  

of moving to their new home.  

One died because it didn’t like the water.  

The other two, we suspect, committed suicide.  

 

If your fish isn’t moving much in the tank,  

it has developed depression. 

When the first fish was found dead, we all  

were shocked. But thanked god, for it was the less  

pretty one. Before I am accused of anthropomorphizing 

fishes, let me say this, the pretty one probably 

cost more. And in a bad economy, that is just no good.  

The problem with fishes is that  

they are easily depressed, we deduced. 

Depression, as we already know, can  

often be suicidal. And life in a fish tank  

without fish buddies can be lonely, 

depressing. So I don’t blame the other two  

for dying the way they did, the way  

only few have the courage for.  

 

Fish, say scientists, can revolutionise the  

way we understand depression. For all we know 

we are popping the wrong pills. Maybe we  

don’t need clonazepam, certainly not 0.5mg.  

We definitely don’t need xanax, just a healthy  

dose of suicide can wipe the human race clean 

of its woes. Let’s learn from them fishies.  

 

Let’s not remove our depressions like clothes  

and throw them in one corner of our empty houses.  

As is customary for any funeral, my friend and I  

cracked jokes when her fishes died. 

Fish 1: What is the bottom of your tank called? 

Fish 2: The Great Depression. 

And sang Rihanna songs because the fishes would  

have liked it: we found love in a hopeless place.  

But let me assure you, we didn’t.